Gettin' Back At 'Cha
by Agent Glitch
Summary: Shinichi's furious that Heiji always teases him, taking every opportunity to say that he's better than the de-aged detective. Now Conan's trying to get back at Heiji... but how?
1. I'll Get You Back

**So, I'm making yet another story to pass the time on my two-and-a-half well holiday. This one is inspired by OsnapitzGiGiAri's story, titled 'Whatchu gonna do?' that is completely hilarious and awesome. So, please, if you can, read that one first before mine. It's totally worth it!**

**Also, this story begins from the day my '**_Silhouette_**' fanfic starts, probably a few hours before. Thus the story goes on for the week that Conan spent in Osaka, where Ran stayed at Kazuha house and Conan at Heiji's. **

Conan managed to keep a straight face when Heiji spoke. "'Course, this case is real easy. Unfortunately ya gotta keep that expert eye o' yours. Y'know now that I'm still betta than Kudo, eh?"

The de-aged detective's face burned. Heiji was telling a story of his latest case to Ran and him, and the Osakan bragged all about it until Conan felt as if he wanted to claw his face in fury. The detective was good, yes, but when compared to Shinichi Kudo, they were still neck and neck.

Of course, to the public, Heiji was solving many more cases than Kudo, just because Shinichi had to use Kogoro to complete his deductions. It just wasn't fair that Heiji could talk about all the cases he solved and say that he was better than Kudo. Only Kudo. Rarely did he compare himself to other detectives.

Then again, it was clear that Hattori was bent on teasing Conan, making sure that he took every chance to annoy The Detective Of The East. To Conan, Heiji was as annoying as Haibara and her sarcasm.

Conan hardly heard the rest of Heiji's story. He was thinking of a way to get back at Hattori, and without mercy either. He would let the Osakan run away with people laughing back at him... but how?

**"**_I saw your face in a criminal sketch_

_Don't be alarmed 'cause you don't know me yet_**"**

**~ I'm Coming After You **- _Owl City _

Conan had prepared a little prank. He knew that Heiji's worst fear was getting beat up by Kazuha. So he took out his voice changing bow tie, smiling. This would be painful and have a few kicks in the face involved.

Conan sneaked into a room and found Kazuha's bag. After a bit of searching, he found her cell phone. Conan turned it off and quickly dashed into his room, taking his bag and stuffing the phone in it. He hoped that Kazuha wouldn't notice that her phone was missing.

**"**_With friends like these_

_Well, who needs enemies?_**"**

**~ Bird and The Worm **- Owl City

"Ran-neechan, why don't you and Kazuha-neechan go out shopping? Heiji-niichan and I will be fine." Conan smiled as he said the words. Before that, he had said to Heiji that he would let the two go out shopping so that Heiji could do whatever he wanted without Kazuha in the way, and Heiji had taken the bait, knowing that Conan was the best way to get Kazuha out of his hair.

"Good idea, Conan-kun. Let's go, Kazuha-chan," Ran let out her hand in an inviting manner. Kazuha grinned and followed. Conan hoped that she didn't notice the fact that he had taken her cell phone. It was turned off and safe in his holdings.

Heiji let out a huff. "Thanks, Kudo."

"It's nothing. Now, what's it that you want to do?"

Heiji and Conan went out to eat, Heiji always saying how Tokyo wasn't nearly as good as Osaka. They found a restaurant close to the mall that Ran and Kazuha were at. Because of that, Heiji decided to hold the tickets that would take them to Osaka.

Lucky for Conan, Heiji excused himself and walked pretty far away, saying that he needed to call Kazuha to make sure that the girl wanted him to pick her up soon. Conan dug the phone from his bag and flipped it on, waiting for Heiji's call to come. Then he said in Kazuha's voice, "Hello?" and Heiji asked to be sure of when he'll pick her up.

"No, I don't think you should pick me up too late. I'm over at a different mall, here..." Conan gave Heiji an address that was _very _far away from the _real _mall Ran and Kazuha were going to. "And pick me up half an hour later than I told you, too." Then he hung up.

His prank had just begun. He didn't even care that Ran would have to wait along with Kazuha.

He turned off his own phone so that Ran and Kazuha were left with no one to call unless they wanted a taxi, and they wouldn't call one if they knew Heiji was on his way.

**"**_I swim through the theatre_

_Or maybe I'm just a dreamer_**"**

**~ Dreams Don't Turn to Dust **- _Owl City_

"Really! Where's she, the ahou?" Heiji muttered irritatingly. He had been pacing up and down, miles – yes, _miles _– away from Kazuha. Conan had to hide his smile behind his hand.

At last, Conan turned his phone on and waited for a frantic Ran to call. It was only midday, but they would have waited a long, long time. The phone rang a quick five minutes afterwards. "Hello?"

"Conan-kun? Where are you? Tell Heiji to pick us up! Get a taxi and bring the tickets with you! We're going to eat at the station later!" after reassuring Ran, Conan hung up before Heiji and Kazuha could have a turn on both phones.

"Hattori, she wants you to pick her up at the mall that she said she was at first."

"What?! That's miles away! Oh, I'll give her a beating all right!" Heiji threatened to Kazuha, who couldn't even her him. He called a taxi and managed to get one in the hour, but it had taken quite long.

However fast the taxi went, they could only reach the mall in a half-hour. The taxi was spinning its wheels so fast that, sometimes, it kicked up clouds of dust that rose up to three feet high before dissolving in the air. When they got there, Kazuha was practically burning in anger.

"WHERE WERE YOU?! I _told _you to pick us up with a taxi! If you were planning to bring the tickets with you, don't take so long! And MY PHONE! Where IS my phone?!" Actually, smart little Conan had sneaked the phone into Heiji's bag and turned it on.

A baffled Heiji tried to calm his anger, but Conan knew it wouldn't hold for long. Kazuha grabbed Heiji's bag and began to shuffle through it. Soon she found what she was looking for. "AHA! YOU HID MY PHONE IN HERE AND DELIBERATELY RAN OFF!" The girl took a deep breath and yelled again. "YOU LIAR! I'M GOING TO TIE YOU TO A TREE AND POKE YOU WITH AN OCTOPUS AND DROWN YOU IN A SEA OF METAL-COLD BONES AND HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A HAIRPIN AND CUT YOUR HAIR OFF AND FEED IT TO A GOLDFISH!" Her words attracted passersby and they all stopped to watch then argue. Ran tried futilely to calm both of them down. Conan was laughing inside.

Kazuha stuck a pose that meant that she was going to strike. Heiji managed to jump out of the way, and jerk back when the girl tried to slap him. _Man, waiting for an hour must have charged her batteries, _thought Conan. He felt a bit of regret for pranking Heiji, but he shook the feeling off. This was hilarious.

"What are you – " Heiji stopped dodging and looked at Conan. Realization swept through him and he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, knowing that he would out a good number of people in danger if he said anything out of the ordinary.

Kazuha calmed down, but anger still radiated though the place in waves. "Let's go to the station," she said angrily while grabbing Ran's hand and sitting at the far end of the taxi. Heiji had to sit at front while Conan sat on Ran's lap as usual.

At the station, Heiji made sure to sit as far as possible from Kazuha. Conan was next to him. "How COULD you do that?!" demanded Heiji.

"Come on, it was just me balancing out the world. We all hate karma, but hey." Conan relaxed, but Heiji didn't seem calm. The detective of Osaka was staring and thinking, probably finding a way to get back... because as Conan said, everyone hates karma.

**So... review guys! I'm banging my head trying to find out how Heiji's gonna get his own way back. If you have any ideas please PM or review me, you will get credit for the prank! And I'm trying to make it funny, I need to make people laugh at this. Help, help me guys! I really need some advice.**


	2. Heiji's Revenge

**"**_When you are lying half asleep in your room_

_Unaware if it is midnight or afternoon_**"**

**~ Swimming In Miami **- _Owl City_

Heiji rubbed his cheek. Kazuha had managed to hit him once, and _boy, _did it hurt. The skin on the left side of his face had lost most of the red that had once formed, but still, the pain was almost unbearable. It just wasn't _fair _that Kudo used Kazuha against him, and, partially because he had been defeated by Kudo, Heiji couldn't say a thing. But now all Heiji could do was find a way to get back at Kudo without revealing anything.

It was morning, the second day of Kudo's week in Osaka. Heiji was lucky that most of the day belonged to him, as his parents were out, and he was free to prank as he wished as Ran only visited Conan every evening, and she only stayed for half an hour. While Kudo was still sleeping – his face looked so cute to Heiji, like the face of a real kid – Heiji fired up his motorbike and stopped at a prank store. The best place there is.

Heiji opened the door to see lots of things: hair dyes, stink bombs, exploding cigars, smoke balloons, and bugs. They were all piled neatly by category. The bugs were in an emporium. There were stacks of boxes filled with exploding cigars, long rows made up of hair dye bottles, and the shop was pretty crowded.

Heiji looked through the hair dyes and found a bottle disguised as a pack of shampoo. It was the same brand as the shampoo Heiji used, which was an upside. The dye was red.

There was also a spray can row of bottles, and so Heiji picked one. It was bright green. Heiji smiled and took it, and went up to the cashier.

The problem is, the cashier was behind the bug emporium. Sure, Heiji wasn't a freak, but the sight of the creepy crawlies still made him shiver. He hid his expression, and bought the dye. The shopkeeper was smiling at him. "Who are you going to prank, boy?"

"A friend o' mine who made me earn dis," said Heiji, indicating his left cheek. It wasn't too easy to see the mark, as it was fading, but every touch on the skin made him wince. "He jes made another friend o' mine ta jes slap me. Right 'ere." Heiji remembered what it felt when he got slapped.

The shopkeeper looked a little horrified, but said, "Well, hope you get him back again. Enjoy." Heiji was handed a plastic bag that had the shop brand on it. "Er, I'll be carryin' it in m' bag, thanks," said Heiji and returned the bag before walking back outside, dye bottle safely hidden in his bag, spray can tucked underneath the other items Heiji brought with him.

Heiji took his motorbike back on the road and got on it, driving back home in a hurry so that his prank target wouldn't notice the fact that Heiji was gone. He knew that Kudo could be a heavy sleeper sometimes, but he could never be sure. After a turn to the left and following a long road Heiji managed to get home quickly enough.

He made it just in time. After parking his bike, turning it off, and storing his bag in a safe place, he opened his room door to see a yawning Kudo – Conan, but he rarely called him that – stretching his arms and rubbing his eyes. "Good morning," Heiji greeted, as if he had forgiven the Tokyo detective for pranking him.

Kudo looked a little suspicious and surprised, but he returned the greeting and got up, putting his glasses on. The light streaming into the room though the door was reflected by the lenses, making it hard for Heiji to see the blue eyes behind them.

**"**_Because the water doesn't flood the stairwell_

_It could be raining but you can never tell_**"**

**~ Swimming In Miami **- _Owl City_

While Kudo was eating, Heiji took his bag, unzipping it urgently. He took out the bottle, and took it to the bathroom. He opened the door with a slight creak. He took out the bottle of real shampoo and held it in one hand, dye bottle in the other.

Compared to the real shampoo bottle it was clean and unstained, so Heiji took a moment to scrub the bottle and make it look a little wet, as if it had been used for a long time. He also pressed the bottle label, leaving marks that made the bottle look like it's been squeezed often. He scratched the flip-lid's edge to make it look like it had been often forced open, as the real one sometimes frustrated Heiji when he tried to pry it open with his thumb.

Then Heiji took a bath, making sure he didn't take the wrong bottle, and hid the real bottle of shampoo once he was done. He put on his clothes and called for Kudo to take his bath. "And don't take too long," he notified.

Now Heiji took out his phone, making sure it had enough memory on it, and readied the camera function. He would have to be able to 'preserve the moment,' wouldn't he? And he would make sure Kazuha didn't see it. He could already hear her outrage at pranking a seven-year-old boy. He winced as he gently tapped the skin on his left cheek again.

Now all he had to do was wait for the cat to find the dog den. The muffled sound of flowing water suddenly ceased, and Heiji strained to hear what would come through. The shout was much louder than he had expected. Hattori never expected the de-aged detective to speak so loudly, but the sight of red hair instead of dark brown would have stirred anyone up.

"HATTORI! What in the name of God have you done?!" Kudo's voice rang out, which made Heiji laugh. He held the phone in his right hand and saw Kudo, hair scarlet-red. He took the photo, trying to hold the laughter that bubbled in him.

"What? I'm only makin' ya look more like a Conan Doyle fan. His first book was _A Study in SCARLET, _wasn't it?" Heiji laughed again. "And it really brings out yer eyes. Ya should get red-framed glasses too. Oh, and it matches yer shoes, put 'em on will ya? And ya look like a tomato! Ha!"

Kudo's expression, when expressed in letters and symbols, would be 'Why does this always happen to me?!' and ?! ### ~`[]{}^ %»«¤|\•±÷_ ¥€£$¡¿&. Heiji promised himself to remember this moment always.

Then he released his secret weapon: another bottle of spray dye. This one was green. He held Kudo still with one elbow and drew the imitation of tomato leaves on top of the de-aged detective's head. Kudo struggled the entire time, but Heiji managed to hold the boy still, as Kudo's appearance also showed his physical strength was the same as a little boy. Now Heiji smiled in an evil manner.

"TOMATOES!" he yelled. Then he flashed another photo.

Bewildered, Kudo stormed the room up with his shout of "ASDFGHJKL! I ONLY GAVE YOU THE SLAP YOU GET EVERY DAY. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" and began to rub his hair, as if he wanted it to magically change back, which was as likely as Kamen Yaiba walking through the front door then and there.

"Every day? Yeah, right, ya'd think t'was that easy." Heiji managed to say those words among the bursts of laughter that shook the floor.

"WHEN WILL THIS WEAR OFF?!" Kudo demanded.

"Chill, chillax. It's gon' wear off after an hour of washin', and don't 'cha ask m' fer help." Heiji couldn't say the sentence without stifling a laugh, and he said the thing while smiling like an idiot the whole time. Kudo just glared at him... venomously.

The red hair on his head ruffled itself, green strands hidden among the red, while Kudo ran back to the bathroom to wash his hair again. Soon the sound of rushing water turned on and the frustrated noises Kudo made streamed though the corridors.

Heiji just smiled. He opened the images that showed Shinichi with his red hair. The Osakan giggled. _Priceless... ha! This'll teach him not to mess with Heiji Hattori, Great Detective Of The West. And if he so much touches Kazuha's phone again, I'll show him what I'm made of, and he's never going to use that voice-thing against me again! _Heiji laughed again, unable to hold himself again.

He had already gotten his revenge... and he hoped the thing was over. But was it?

**Aw naw, Heiji got back GOOD at Conan. How will he get back at him? This will be a prank war, and it's going to have some embarrassment at some point. Please review, and I'd love suggestions. Also, there's this made-up fear Heiji has on bugs... but I doubt I'll use it, as it was one of the pranks on 'Whatchu Gonna Do?' and I don't want to copy too much of it. But hey, who loves tomatoes? Can you imagine?! Ha!**

**Agent Glitch out, see ya! **


	3. Pwned!

**"**_Brighter lights fill the night_

_And bluer skies reflect in your eyes_**"**

**~ Captains and Cruise Ships **- _Owl City_

_Third day of the week. A chance to get back at him. _Conan remembered the ordeal of washing his hair for an hour, and the sight of it being _red _had almost been enough for Conan to scream. And to make it look like a tomato had been going too far. Heiji would regret ever messing with him. Conan would set this one as far as possible.

But how? He couldn't go to a prank store like Heiji did, because he didn't know the way, and of course Heiji would know if Conan went anywhere. The only chances Conan had were Heiji's bathroom breaks and baths, and there was no guarantee that he would have any time to do anything.

Conan had an advantage, however. Heiji thought that he had ended the prank war, but Conan hadn't given in just yet. So Heiji was far too smug to be careful, and was reckless sometimes. Easy prey for Conan. Heiji had become less cautious, so a prank wasn't too hard to set up. But Conan wanted to go further than just changing Oreo cream with toothpaste or putting super-glue on Heiji's bed. No, our little de-aged detective would go much further than that. If Heiji wanted to play hard, then play hard they will.

So Conan devised a simple plan. He got to work. First, he searched _everywhere _until he found something suitable: a ball of yarn. Unfortunately, the yarn was blue and very noticeable. Conan would have to be able to really scare Heiji. And that wasn't easy. Heiji would have to be really surprised to fall into such an obvious trap. Or Conan would have to push Heiji into the trap.

Second: find someplace that was suitable to the upcoming prank. If Conan's prank costed breaking things, he would break Heiji's things. And so he picked Heiji's room.

Third: find a place to trigger the entire prank. Heiji would be the one to cause the prank to begin as a chain reaction. That was how Conan got around. He settled with the door. When it slid open, it would pull the yarn and a surprise would begin.

Fourth: Find out why Heiji was taking so long with his bath...? The shower had been running for way too long now. For a brief moment Conan was glad that Heiji would change in his room, but in the bathroom. He didn't want... certain 'complications.'

Conan shrugged and got into Heiji's room. He tied the yarn to anything he could get his hands on. Heiji had plenty of things Conan knew would be great for his prank. He looped one section of the string to another, tying the yarn to Heiji's bag, which would fall once the prank was triggered. He tied it to Heiji's blanket, pillows, and pretty much everything else.

But when Conan took out Heiji's bag, he heard a clang. Conan opened the bag and found a spray can. The green dye spray can. _Perfect... _now Conan had a second weapon. This prank would be funnier than he thought.

Now Conan waited for Heiji to take the bait for a second time. Conan hid, where Heiji could only see him if he was careful, _outside _Heiji's room, so that he could push Heiji into the mess that was soon to be. Conan squatted, so that it would be even more difficult for Heiji to see him. Once in a while he could stifle a giggle and smile to himself, imagining what was about to happen.

But his legs soon grew tired. Why was Heiji taking so long? The shower was still running, along with the sound of frantic scrubbing.

In time, Heiji got in, hair still sticking to his forehead, as it was wet. But he also wore his hat, which was odd, as his hair was wet. The hat was beginning to absorb the water too.

With a frustrated air, Heiji opened the door so fast it produced an odd noise. The door slid open far too fast, and suddenly there were creaks, clatters, bangs and clangs sounding around the room. Conan jumped and pushed Heiji so hard that Heiji tripped on a stray tendril of the yarn and fell. Heiji let out a surprised noise and there was a loud _whump _when the detective landed back-first onto the floor.

"KUDO WHY DID YA DO THIS?! ASDFGHJKL!" Heiji screamed furiously. Conan leaped out, laughing like a madman, and shook the spray can. Heiji was defenseless, feet tied up by the yarn. Conan tore Heiji's cap off. In a swift move, Conan sprayed half of Heiji's head with green dye. It covered the entire left section of Heiji's hair. Heiji yelled again, "MY HAIR!"

"HA! I SAID EVERY ONE HATES KARMA, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN. WELL THINK AGAIN 'CAUSE I'M THE ONE TO BALANCE OUT OUR DISPUTE!" Conan yelled back.

"YA HAVE NO SYMPATHY IN YA?! LOOK AT DIS. JUST LOOK AT DIS!" Angrily Heiji pointed at the right side of his head... where a fading red color showed itself.

Conan couldn't hold his laughter any longer. Among the long sessions of laughing and embarrassment, Conan shouted again, "YOU FELL FOR YOUR OWN PRANK! You took the wrong bottle, and you took the longest bath in history trying to wash off the dye that was meant for _me, _and now you're going to have to do it all over again!" And this time, Conan laughed even harder than ever.

Now he unleashed his last and best weapon: the camera phone. He took several photos of different angles while Heiji frantically picked at the strings, trying to untie himself. Heiji barely realized what Conan was doing. Then Conan showed a still-tied Heiji the best photo he got. Then Conan said, "I guess I'll just send this to your father..." Conan didn't have Heizo Hattori's number on his phone, but Heiji wouldn't remember that.

"NO NO NO NO NO DON'T SEND IT!" Heiji screamed the words. Conan just smiled and said, "Then I'll just send it to Ran..."

"YES YES JUST SEND IT TO HER!" Heiji was probably hoping to do anything, as long as the picture didn't reach his father.

Conan let out an evil laugh. "I wasn't finished with my sentence... I would tell Ran to show Kazuha, too." And everyone knew how Heiji suffered from Kazuhaphobia. Kazuhaphobia is a terrible fear that involved a very angry Kazuha. And _Kazuhaphobia _is a word that only existed in Heiji's dictionary.

"NO WAY DUDE NOT HER, SHE GONNA KILL M' AND DO WHAT SHE SAID. SHE'S GON' CUT MAH HAIR AN' FEED IT TO A GOLDFISH!" Heiji began to wave his arms in the air like crazy. Conan smirked. "Well, then I'll send it straight to Kazuha instead... wonder what he reaction will be..."

Heiji grabbed Conan's phone and deleted the pictures. He is fingers we removing so fast, not even Conan could track down their movements. At last, Heiji was done and dumped the phone into Conan's hand.

"Well, I was hoping you'd acknowledge me as the best prank setter ever, but as I can't push you anymore, I guess I'll have to settle with this as my trophy... unless..." Now Conan snatched the scissors that were in Heiji's reach. Then Conan walked to a side of the room. "You will acknowledge me now, or I'll let you stay here until you change your mind."

Heiji grumbled but didn't say a word. But soon he untangled all the strings and said, "I guess you still have to settle for the silver trophy, you know."

"Well, I don't mind the silver trophy with red-brown on the right and bright green on the left. I failed to make you look like a tomato, but you look nice too, so I hope you enjoy your shower. And you still have to clean this mess. Not to mention the fact that you'll have to untie all that yarn without any scissors," Conan laughed.

Heiji just stormed his way back to the bathroom.

Now Conan thought, _Clumsy oaf, I guess I won't be seeing you pranking me for much longer... which is as it should be._

Soon Conan grew tired of the constant sound of water drumming steadily into his ears. He took out a book from his backpack. He read it leisurely, on his bed with one leg swung over the other in relaxation. Now Conan was sure that the dispute really _was _over... or was it?

**Note: Heiji walked straight onto that one, didn't he? Also, thank you so much for the reviews, follows, favorites and views! They really mean a lot to me! Also, here are my replies to a review by Meow-chan-15. **

**Unfortunately, I'm not that much of a Kid fan (he's cute, irresistible, but annoying in my opinion), and even if Kuroba knew that Shinichi was Conan, there's little chance that Conan knew Kaito Kid's real identity. But I really like your suggestion, and maybe I'll write a one-shot of it, because you can change so much in a one-shot :3**

**Well, everyone, now it's Heiji's turn, and he has the upside of being able to shop for what he needs! Maybe he'll even put a sleeping pill in Conan's glass of milk, so that he wouldn't have to speed up so much. The week of Conan's stay is halfway done, and with it this story. But if you want to read more while I'm writing, check out my '**_Silhouette_**' fanfic, because it details what happens after this week. It's a crossover, but you'll get the hang of what's going on soon enough, because somewhere in one chapter, one of the characters explains the second category for you :3**

**Agent Glitch out, and thank you everyone!**


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